Illumi you scumbag. HOW COULD YOU, YOUR OWN BROTHER!


“Did you hear that, Kil?” Illumi turned and looked at me with his fathomless dark eyes. “You have to beat me if you want to save Gon. Will you fight me for your friend’s sake?” Ilumi began to step nearer. Every one of his soft footfalls rang in my ears. My heart pounded. I wanted to run- or to fight him- but I was frozen stiff with fear. Aniki- “You can’t do it,” he told me. Closer- closer- I was beginning to choke inwardly- air- I have to save Gon- I can’t win this- I- I can’t fight him-

That’s right, said the voice in my head. You can’t do it.

Because you’re more worried about whether or not you can defeat me.” You can’t, you can’t, you can’t-

Illumi stopped in front of me. I gasped like someone had dumped ice water on me and jerked up to face him.

“And you already have your answer.” You can’t defeat me- the voice crooned. “I’m not strong enough to defeat my brother.” Illumi said with the voice in my head. ”Never fight an enemy you can’t defeat” The voices twined into a sickening melody. My gut clenched and I wanted to hurl. “I drilled that into you-” Illumi reached up toward my face. I stumbled back a half step. “Don’t move!” Illumi’s soft voice hardened. I choked and froze, the spell of fear unbroken and all-consuming.

“If you move an inch, I’ll assume that the fight has begun.” And you don’t want to fight me, little brother…. “And if out bodies make contact, that will also mean the fight has begun.” And you really don’t want to fight me… The voice murmured gleefully. “There’s only one way to stop me-” My vision was filled by his hand now. If I didn’t move soon- but I couldn’t move- I- Gon- someone- help- “-You know what that is.”

I did. But if I conceded, he’d kill Gon- He’d kill everyone-

Your dear Gon will die, will die, will die, will die……

“TAKE HIM OUT KILLUA!” Was someone speaking? I couldn’t tell what they were saying- Will die, die, die….

“We won’t let him kill you or Gon!” Kill…. Kill Gon… Killua- Kil- KILL- “We’ll stop him, whatever it takes!” So, so cold- Illumi, reaching for me, must move- can’t move- can’t breathe- Come on, Kil, make your choice!

“Let him have it!”

Illumi’s bottomless cold eyes were drawing me in. I felt dizzy. The problem with something bottomless, fathomless, is that it keeps going and going and going- Illumi’s hand was so close I could feel the heat radiating off his skin. I sucked in enough air to mutter, “I surrender.”

“I lose.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Illumi clapped his hands. “Then the battle’s over.” Well done, brother, the voice snickered. Now your friend will die. “Ah ha ha, I lied, Kil.” Illumi patted me on the shoulder. “I was lying about killing Gon.” No I wasn’t…. “That was just a little test. But now I have my answer!” He knelt and placed his hand on my head, pulling me close.

“You don’t have the right to make friends.” he whispered in my ear, “Nor do you need friends.” His breath was soft and smelled like blood; sweet, metallic. “You should just listen to Dad and me, and do your job as you always have. When the time comes, I’ll tell you to take the Hunter Exam. You don’t need a license yet.” You don’t need anything. You are a passionless puppet of darkness, Killu-chan. What are light, laughter and love to you? They are the weaknesses of your prey. That is the kind of hunter you are. Numbness percolated through my body. Passionless, Kil. Passionless kill… Passionless killer, Kil, Kil kill Kil…..KILL.

I withdrew my bloody hand from the chest of some fellow applicant- Bodoro, was it? Not that it mattered. I never bothered with the names of those I had to kill. Kill. Kil…

I’m coming home.



Wow.  that was intense.  and somewhat cathartic.  My interpretation of the scene in HunterXHunter.  so rights where due, HxH c togashi yoshihiro, interp. is mine, I guess…  And that’s a screenshot, not actual art of mine.  I may replace it with something original later.

For those of you who think im crazy now, Kil (spoilers) was brainwashed and manipulated into being an assassin.  He hates it and leaves so that he can ‘be a normal person’ ‘with friends’, the first and best of which is Gon.  And this all works out in the end, Gon rescues him and they both go on various adventures with each other and watch each others backs and bro around with each other.  It’s a really heartfelt relationship.


Those of you who get it, great.  Those of you who don’t- oh well theres plenty of other junk on this blog to amuse you.

Set me FREE! -eyes

Eyes again-set me FREE! 001

THERE ARE AT LEAST SEVEN DIFFERANT COLORS IF YOU DONT COUNT THE WHITE SHINE IN THEIR EYES!  Completely ignoring color gradation, of course.  If you include that there are at least two areas where that happens.  Three if you so wish.






NO MATTER how hard I try…..

set me FREE! because if not I’m going to die your eyes are too gorgeous-


Art is mine

there are a few HxH eyes so all rights to togashi, then there are those blasted, gorgeous Free! Iwatobi Swim Club eyes.

So credit where credit due I suppose, I’m just imitating (and failing miserably) the styles. Grr.


I would have don’t these on my Wacom, then they might have turned out better, but I discovered there’s something wrong with the orientation there, its killing me!


Ninjagirls 001


La di da… call it a Ninjago genderbend if you want but really these are some OC’s my friends and I came up with.

Art and OC’s copyright me (and Aiko-chama and ‘Zuko-chan)

Ninjago is LEGO’s


Forest 001

I decided to just because.  This is the culmination of about 5 failures, so I’m glad it turned out the way it did.


Art copyright me.