“Did you hear that, Kil?” Illumi turned and looked at me with his fathomless dark eyes. “You have to beat me if you want to save Gon. Will you fight me for your friend’s sake?” Ilumi began to step nearer. Every one of his soft footfalls rang in my ears. My heart pounded. I wanted to run- or to fight him- but I was frozen stiff with fear. Aniki- “You can’t do it,” he told me. Closer- closer- I was beginning to choke inwardly- air- I have to save Gon- I can’t win this- I- I can’t fight him-
That’s right, said the voice in my head. You can’t do it.
“Because you’re more worried about whether or not you can defeat me.” You can’t, you can’t, you can’t-
Illumi stopped in front of me. I gasped like someone had dumped ice water on me and jerked up to face him.
“And you already have your answer.” You can’t defeat me- the voice crooned. “I’m not strong enough to defeat my brother.” Illumi said with the voice in my head. ”Never fight an enemy you can’t defeat” The voices twined into a sickening melody. My gut clenched and I wanted to hurl. “I drilled that into you-” Illumi reached up toward my face. I stumbled back a half step. “Don’t move!” Illumi’s soft voice hardened. I choked and froze, the spell of fear unbroken and all-consuming.
“If you move an inch, I’ll assume that the fight has begun.” And you don’t want to fight me, little brother…. “And if out bodies make contact, that will also mean the fight has begun.” And you really don’t want to fight me… The voice murmured gleefully. “There’s only one way to stop me-” My vision was filled by his hand now. If I didn’t move soon- but I couldn’t move- I- Gon- someone- help- “-You know what that is.”
I did. But if I conceded, he’d kill Gon- He’d kill everyone-
Your dear Gon will die, will die, will die, will die……
“TAKE HIM OUT KILLUA!” Was someone speaking? I couldn’t tell what they were saying- Will die, die, die….
“We won’t let him kill you or Gon!” Kill…. Kill Gon… Killua- Kil- KILL- “We’ll stop him, whatever it takes!” So, so cold- Illumi, reaching for me, must move- can’t move- can’t breathe- Come on, Kil, make your choice!
“Let him have it!”
Illumi’s bottomless cold eyes were drawing me in. I felt dizzy. The problem with something bottomless, fathomless, is that it keeps going and going and going- Illumi’s hand was so close I could feel the heat radiating off his skin. I sucked in enough air to mutter, “I surrender.”
“Oh, that’s good.” Illumi clapped his hands. “Then the battle’s over.” Well done, brother, the voice snickered. Now your friend will die. “Ah ha ha, I lied, Kil.” Illumi patted me on the shoulder. “I was lying about killing Gon.” No I wasn’t…. “That was just a little test. But now I have my answer!” He knelt and placed his hand on my head, pulling me close.
“You don’t have the right to make friends.” he whispered in my ear, “Nor do you need friends.” His breath was soft and smelled like blood; sweet, metallic. “You should just listen to Dad and me, and do your job as you always have. When the time comes, I’ll tell you to take the Hunter Exam. You don’t need a license yet.” You don’t need anything. You are a passionless puppet of darkness, Killu-chan. What are light, laughter and love to you? They are the weaknesses of your prey. That is the kind of hunter you are. Numbness percolated through my body. Passionless, Kil. Passionless kill… Passionless killer, Kil, Kil kill Kil…..KILL.
I withdrew my bloody hand from the chest of some fellow applicant- Bodoro, was it? Not that it mattered. I never bothered with the names of those I had to kill. Kill. Kil…
I’m coming home.
Wow. that was intense. and somewhat cathartic. My interpretation of the scene in HunterXHunter. so rights where due, HxH c togashi yoshihiro, interp. is mine, I guess… And that’s a screenshot, not actual art of mine. I may replace it with something original later.
For those of you who think im crazy now, Kil (spoilers) was brainwashed and manipulated into being an assassin. He hates it and leaves so that he can ‘be a normal person’ ‘with friends’, the first and best of which is Gon. And this all works out in the end, Gon rescues him and they both go on various adventures with each other and watch each others backs and bro around with each other. It’s a really heartfelt relationship.
Those of you who get it, great. Those of you who don’t- oh well theres plenty of other junk on this blog to amuse you.